Fables and Revelations

I want to stand, my feet on the soft white talcum like sand, so gentle between my toes. To have the gentle sea breeze on my face and the warm golden sun blazing down on my fair skin. But it’s been raining on my parade, just raining and now it starts to pour. Water flowing down the gutters and overflowing the cannels, it roars loudly into my ears. My clothes wet with the harsh rain beating on me, as my wet heavy cloths cling tightly damp with rain. Drops flowing down my matted black hair. I stand shivering and alone in the cold, so cold, I reach out into the emptiness and embrace the freezing rain against my skin. I don’t want to go back to the darkness that I had been, you can say anything. Anything at all and it would take away the rain. Dry my tears and bring me home to where the dark clouds part and the sun flickers down on the beauty that is the bay. I wish the rain would stop and the scars would disappear from where they came.

Life is amazing, when I’m actually finally happy, things just keep squirming itself into it’s ugly little wormlike holes and chew at the little gems of happiness I have and cover it all with sludge. Just came back from the doctors and brilliant news, I may have precancerous cells. You need to go for test urgently. Wow. Pass me black stockings, a scythe and call me mistress death. Gee, things keep getting better. He’s finally coming next week and I was just bursting with happiness last night, before I got the first crap news of the century, which confirmed my doubts about my health and this morning an extra spice to my already wonderful story of my life. Sitting alone typing typing, back to jo with no one to hold. People get away with murder man and diamond rings and emotional blackmail to attain their ridiculous piece of heaven. Man, I’m going to just sit here and chill and listen to some music and work at the moment like I always do. Instant noodle life baby, just add hot water and la...

Feeling a bit run down today I guess, thought I’d write a bit before bed. My heart has been on a down hill sledge ride since Tuesday and my blood is wearing thin. Dennis asked me if I lost weight today, I told him perhaps it could just be work. I love my new job I really do it is insightful, intriguing and emotionally rewarding. However, like all jobs it does have its’ disadvantages. I have been sick for perhaps almost 2 weeks and I still have not fully recovered I guess. Trying to suppress a cough, to stop myself from wheezing into the microphone and to the little ones. It certainly is awful, and right after I recover I am plagued with another bug. Just tragically, down on my luck I gather. Work has been piling up and holding two jobs sure isn’t all easy peasy lemon squeezy. Been pretty pressed for time of late, plus the pending arrival of an imminent friend makes things a bit tighter around my heart. With arrival comes departure, and my departure would come soon like it or not. A bit...

You are The Star Hope, expectation, Bright promises. The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one. What Tarot Card are You? Take the Test to Find Out.

A new year, another year of love, saddness and infinite sorrow that perhaps would hopefully cease it’s endless scrapping on my chamber door. In a strange conincidence, this year I would again sit on another bridge and watch another world fade away. Sometimes I look back and wonder if there was something I could say or something I had done to change the way things had become. Facing the new day, and pondering the memories of the past, I guess there was nothing I could have done and there was again perhaps nothing I wanted to do to make a change. Even as the moment pass me by, I did not burge, my feer never touching the floor, lettingthe moment toss in the waves and float away. I cannot cry for the things that have not hurt me. Scars in on my rosy heart, souvenairs of worlds lost and memories pass. I whispered your name but your name has lost all meanings, all hope, all sorrow, all the hurt, the joy, the pain. It has lost its exsistence in me. I woke up alone in the cold of the room, loo...