Fables and Revelations

I like walking home, I could walk on and on if I could just watch the world go by, listening to the universe evolve and taking in the different scents that embrace my senses. The week’s been a mess with highs and lows but that’s just life isn’t it? A rollercoaster of events that whiz right by; like a chaotic mix of emotions, drifting from sheer happiness to pain to boredom to sheer ecstasy. Crazy noisy one moment, total silence the next. Crazy couple of days, really, I had new threads yesterday and that really got me up and running, can’t wait for the upcoming Damien Rice concert on Thursday though.

Please don’t go crazy if I tell you the truth. Your words sound like demands and the thoughts seemed half-truths. Like a pigeon in a hole, please take it easy, you only see the darkness in a well. You keep stepping over lines that are drawn, which you don’t know at all. Do you know what you want in life, when you take a stand, do you want your voice to be heard or do you want your demands to be met? People are heard all the time, but lives are our own, we all appreciate your love, but like a parent to a child, we all know they love us but our stories are different, both written and told. Respect the lines that are drawn, we are but humans and not saints, respect the roads we take and the lives we live. Anger and pain, no one really cares if you are fuming or crying, unless you reach out your hand. All the madness in your heart and in your head, no one would know and no one would care when you are alone. So does one really have to go to the place of madness when demands are not met, you...

She was beautiful inside and out, I loved her dearly, more then this life of mine. I could hold her everyday and kiss her good morning at the dawn of each new day. In the afternoons I would listen to her talk for hours and watch as she built me a dollhouse made of paint and paper. Lovingly she filled each room with little wooden and plastic furniture, so small that they were a third the size of my palm. I loved her I really do. With time the dollhouse crumpled and collapsed, the furniture had all disappeared. She has crumbled under the weight of time and her soul no longer the carefree delightful spirit she has been. Her conversations now limited and though she remains as sweet as the day I met her, however her mind has been constricted, her thoughts and conversations limited and no longer can open discussions be met. Now, ideas are just being shovelled down one’s throat with each spoken word. I miss her, now she’s just a shell of herself. Her world now revolves around three specific t...

I woke up from my afternoon and smooth the cease sheets on my bed, feeling empty and numb I ponder if my soul is seeking some sort of deliverance or perhaps a sense of justice, or maybe some closure. It was an odd sort of afternoon; I spend most of my time questing to get my heart away from the strange notions that occasionally dive in and swim around the pool of my mind. As well as the constant talk of religion and marriage from my mother, I see my self taking deep breaths and focusing on my task at hand when she begins her never ending conversations, that are actually a few hours long. I love her to bits and bits I really do but this talk is getting weary and tiresome for me and rather unbearable at times. I decided that I had to take a breather in the evening, the night was cool and stepping out of the house was a refreshing feel, taking a stroll to Starbucks for a cup of tea and a good read. I’m trying to juggle between Milan K. “Life is elsewhere”, and Bill Bryson, “short history...

I miss the feeling of standing in the rain, with the world’s tears pouring down on me from the heavens. My clothes slowly soaking in the rain, from a cool cotton shirt to a sloppy cold clingy damp cloth that slaps itself again the skin. I use to stand, with the rain running down my face as I look up into the anger filled, thunderous cloudy sky, my blue and white uniform drench and dripping as I splash in the puddles and watch huge puddles give way to the weight of my feet and swim back again into place, as it once were. Little ripples made by the falling droplets always fascinate me as I watch the constant creative patterns made by nature’s very hands, as they mould them into these ever moving images of art. I always wanted a pair of beautiful red boots with flowers painted at the sides since I was a little girl. My dad use to wear huge big boots and lumber round the house with me on his shoulders when my house floods in. He never puts me down, and I wanted to be put down so my toes c...

There are some scents that I’m just undeniably attracted to. Like the smell of Tangerines, Satsuma, Spring Orchid is the latest collection of scents that I have been drawn to like a moth to a disgustingly bright white fluorescent bulb in the blinding darkness of the night. I just walk all the way up and go “nice perfume” and for that brief second lavish in the scent of the unquestionable seductive scent of the perfume and drinking in the eccentric natural high brought about by that one whiff. The smell, captured in my mind like a Polaroid sinks into the depths of my mind. They, the media, researchers and what not scientist that sit around and think with their irrefutable wrinkled brains, mentioned; as seen in the almost far-fetched untruth of the local papers, that people are attracted to individuals of the opposed immune system. The belief is that according to the natural flow of things; humans, or women in particular would uncontrollably in a biological sense pick a mate that would e...

Brewerkz has the best cheese sticks that I have ever had in my entire 24 years of my life. Huge crispy fried croquette stuffed with an entire wad of melting cheese that’s just warm and chewy and it’s just oozing out the fried croquette shell when you break it into half. It’s bloody good stuff. Everyone should have a fried cheese stick. The chicken wings are not bad but grilled chicken wings still have to be the ones at Newton Food Centre, the ones there is just amazing. I stood staring out into the city lights from above last night and I thought the view was just breathtaking in a very urban sort of way. Rows of orange and white lights lit up the tiny buildings below and they glowed a tangerine orange, It was a beautiful sight, breathtaking in a sense, considering that I live in a little attic and the view outside is the white washed wall of the house behind and the roof of my house. I felt real yesterday after a long time, it was strange, life always seem so surreal, waking up, walki...

I stood alone and stared out at the silent crowd of melancholy audience as the lush velvet red curtains fell. I stared out into the sea and forgot my lines, words just failed me completely, my mind just cold emptiness, my body crumpled into a heap, the walls around me start to bleed and the props around me fold themselves into halves and into smaller halves and into tiny heaps of boxes around me. The faceless audience stare back at me and I see everyone and no one. It’s just a bad day, another strange day where hollowness engulfs my soul and I walk around tired and listless and quiet. I could walk forever into nowhere into the mouth of the night and sleep in the belly of darkness, cuddled in the womb of emptiness. No time for anger, don’t be angry with me it hurts already, a thousands apologies, a billion tears, as the sea washes up to the beach, don’t be mad at me, don’t be disappointed, all I want is for happiness. For my quiet listless nature I’m sorry, for the soulless eyes and em...

I’m still waiting for the server maintenance to be done for Warcraft, really can’t wait to get back on and level my character. It’s an addictive game no doubt. As I lay with my feet kicked back and my tummy warming my sheets, I dream about giving morning rubs, midnight cuddles and pancakes for breakfast. I turn around only to have emptiness beside me with gifts no one to share with. Such a pity. The cold sheets stare blankly at me with such calmness, unperturbed by the wind. Sometimes, just sometimes I wonder if that would even materialise though. I’m such a sceptic when it comes to relationships. Could be the sheer though of constant disappointments coupled with my already low expectations that causes me to lose much faith in love. I would still like to, one day give midnight cuddles, morning rubs and have buttered banana pancakes for breakfast with someone whose hand I can hold. Till then I guess I have to get over my fear or hurt and start learning to love. As for now I can only wai...